My hobbies include beard-growing, Lego collecting, and staying off government lists. I don’t want to hold your baby.
Should you let me hold your baby? It’s all up to you. Did I ask to hold your baby? I assure you I did not. This is a strong indicator I do not want to hold your baby. When you asked if I wanted to hold your baby, did I say yes? I assure you I did not.
Did you know that I’ve broken three iPhone screens this year alone? iPhones are pretty easy to hold.
Your baby is basically and irreplaceable Faberge egg that cries and bleeds. Okay, babies are technically replaceable. If you handed me a Faberge egg and it started crying, I would drop it immediately. I bet Faberge eggs wouldn’t be worth as much if they cried.
I made a useless chart.
What you should learn from this, baby owner, is that a baby is a very delicate thing that should not be passed around like so many broken Faberge eggs.