Comedy in The Lou

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11 Reasons Why You Should Drink Coffee Every Day

This is clickbait. I knew you would only click on an article if it was a list, and would only read it if it was mostly GIFs. I stole the headline from another dumb article that I didn’t actually read. I don’t like coffee, but that didn’t stop me from coming up with great reasons why someone would drink it every day!

  1. You are hopelessly addicted to caffeine.
  2. Your mouth gets weirdly cold and the only way you can think of to warm it up is with coffee.
  3. You don’t know what antioxidants are, but they sound healthy and they’re in coffee, right?
  4. You work as a taste-tester at a coffee factory.
  5. You are trying to set the “most consecutive days drinking coffee” record, because that’s the only way to get your dad to come back and marry your mom again.
  6. You want yellow teeth, and just cigarettes isn’t working fast enough.  
  7. It’s the only thing that reminds you of what it was like before your wife was murdered. Poor Lydia, it should have been me…  
  8. You’re training your body to process caffeine without giving you diarrhea.
  9. You won a free life supply of coffee from some company that you hate. You want to cost them as much as possible, and it hasn’t occurred to you that you can just throw away the free coffee.
  10. You don’t like coffee, but you also have short term memory loss and your friends like tricking you into drinking it every day.  Your friends are assholes.
  11. You really like coffee.  

If you liked this, maybe you’d also like to read about my amazing, world changing ideas or listen to my podcast. If you can think of other reasons to tolerate coffee on a regular basis, tweet them at me.

Mary Mack

Via the RFT: Folk Humorist Mary Mack Returns to St. Louis After World Series Cancellation

You can read the complete interview on the Riverfront Times’ Music Blog.

Mary Mack

After being upstaged in October by the St. Louis Cardinals, “folk humorist” Mary Mack is making a second attempt at performing in our fair city. A former music teacher who now splits her time between LA and Minneapolis, Mack is a veteran comedian who has appeared on the Bob & Tom Show, the Vancouver Comedy Fest, HBO’s Andy Kaufman Awards and the Just For Laughs Festival. She also made a very notable appearance on Marc Maron‘s popular WTF podcast.

Mack is married to comedian Tim Harmston who has appeared on the Late Show With David Letterman. Harmston, along with comedians Jeremy Essig and Andi Smith, will join Mack at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday at the Too Hip (for a Comedy Club) Hilarious ShowcaseSpectacular at Foam, 3359 S Jefferson Ave.

Kelsey McClure: Your last date in St. Louis fell on the same night as Game 1 of the 2013 World Series. Was its cancellation a direct result of baseball?

Mary Mack: Yes, definitely! If the Twins or Brewers made it to the World Series — please just let me have this dream — I would never go to a comedy show that happened simultaneously.

continue reading.

Comedy vs Everything with Zach Martina

In this episode, Michigan comedian Zach Martina and his girlfriend Emily join us to talk about the differences between the St. Louis and Detroit comedy scenes and the mechanics of travelling to do shows. There is a lot of talk about food and a surprising amount of murder and intrigue. We also learn that Jeremy is fine with cannibalism and Amy cannot sit in a chair properly.

We also announced our search for a better, less creepy logo for the podcast. A few amazing submissions have already come in, and we’re excited to see what else gets submitted.

Check out Zach’s website, and follow him on twitter.

Click here to listen to the episode.


Idiot Album Reviews #2 – Nirvana “Nevermind”

This weekly feature is the result of me taking time out from my vocation as a laborer in a factory assembling exterior electrical devices and giving you a piece of my mind on music.  I listen to music on the way to and from work only, so I usually just get to hear the hits (Skynyrd, Whitesnake, the good stuff).  My friend just got me a CD-to-tape adapter, so I’m excited to get to listen to some new and obscure stuff and give you my opinion.  It’s a short drive to the factory, so I only get to hear about 15 minutes or so of the albums my friend gives me.

I was excited about this one as I am a fan of musicians who have died.  Name a musician that died before the 90’s and I partied next to their tour van.  I wish Lynyrd Skynyrd had stayed in that van.  Aerosmith should’ve been on that flight, man.

The first song was all about teen spirit and if I know about teen spirit, that song’s about partying.  Some of the vocals were hard to make out, but I got it totally.  That’s how I sound after so many years of rock-and-rolling all night and partying every day.


This album’s trippy.  It’s got partying and birds and talking babies.


“Drain You”

One baby to another says -
I’m lucky to have met you
I don’t care what you think
Unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you
A travel through a tube
And end up in your infection

A picture of said vampire baby:



This album wasn’t bad, but then I got a look at the album cover.


A view from inside Michael Jackson’s Pool


I don’t know if I can have that CD on me if I get pulled over, man.

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